How do they say ouch in Zambia

This is one story that I could not believe when I read it.  I have to post it here in complete form because there’s no other way to read it and understand.

Man allows hyena to eat his genitals

A man in Zambia has lost his genitalia after approaching a wild hyena and allowing it to feast on his naked body.

Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

Speaking to The Times of Zambia, Zulu said:

On 24th March around 4am, I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked. A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

While it’s tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool, he remains optimistic about his promised wealth.

Even though I have lost some important parts of my body, I still hope to get rich.

The witch doctor has declined to comment, but the actual doctor who is currently treating Zulu said: “Yes, it’s true he lost his manhood and three toes after being bitten by a hyena, but his condition is stable.”

 


I am seriously at a loss for words…

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4 thoughts on “How do they say ouch in Zambia

  1. If he somehow moves to America, I have no doubt he’ll join Joel Osteen’s flock and become a Republican!

    Picturing the motion picture, starring Karl Rove as the witch doctor…

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  2. Having fewer body parts than I was born with (not those mentioned in the article), I don’t recommend it.

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    • I don’t think you’ll have to worry about me pulling this stunt. I have my beliefs, but I don’t think God wants us to be hyena kibble or any other animal feed.

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